So you’ve decided to take a huge leap into the unknown and study abroad or perhaps just in a linguistically different region of your own country. Now you have to figure out how to navigate life, study, and make friends in a language that’s not your mother tongue. I’ve done it, and it’s not easy. But don’t despair, one day you’ll realize you’re comfortable and happy in what once felt like a very confusing and isolating place, and you’ll feel like you can achieve anything.
I completed my MSc and PhD at a French-speaking university beginning with little more than rusty elementary school French and a lot of naiveté about what I was getting myself into. The first year was both lonely and exhausting because of the mental effort of learning so much and trying to keep up. But by the time I finished grad school years later, I had a good understanding of French and was comfortable in a large group conversation in my second language. I’ll never speak French like a native speaker, but long-term immersion gave me a large vocabulary that you can’t get from books and courses alone. It was well worth the effort. So for those who are about to go or are already on this adventure, here are some tips on how to live, work, and make friends in your new home.
Just a quick note: for clarity and ease of reading, I’ve assumed here that readers are Anglophones heading to non-English-speaking locales representing their second language, but of course, most of these tips hold true for any languages you may speak or wish to learn.
Tips for Day-to-Day Living
- Depending on your comfort level with your second language, you may want to jump into language lessons right away to help you gain confidence and navigate life more easily. Universities often offer language improvement classes specifically for foreign students or offer public classes at a discounted rate for students. These classes can also be a great place to meet others who are in the same boat as you and trade information on how to get by and access resources in your adopted city. If you can’t find in-person language courses, there are also free online options through sites such as Duolingo or Coursera.
- If you’re already more or less fluent in your second language but aren’t at ease with casual conversation, try a conversation partner. Here, you’re matched up with a person who’s trying to learn English and who already speaks the local language. So you sit and have coffee while chatting, first in one language and then the other. Universities will sometimes have networks to match people up for language exchanges, but even if this service doesn’t exist where you are, you can always put an ad out looking for one. Just remember that conversation partners are a two-way street—you need to help them with their conversational English as well. It’s a lot of fun!
- Learning where everything is and how to do simple things like move around the city and get what you need can be daunting when you’re in a new place and don’t fully know the language. For help with this, check out your university’s international student office or website and see what help they have available. The social media website Reddit is also a useful resource, with forums specifically on any country you may be moving to, as well as one specifically for studying abroad, where you can ask questions of people who have studied or are currently studying in your destination.
Tips for Studying
- If you’re taking courses in your second language and struggle to keep up, make sure you review all your course material ahead of time. Then see if you can sit down with a classmate or co-worker and go over any important points you don’t understand. Your study area will probably represent a large addition to the vocabulary you’ll need to learn in your second language (I, for example, had to relearn my biology vocabulary in French.) While you’re taking up all these new terms, it’s helpful to keep a notebook with a running glossary to refer to as needed.
- One thing I realized when studying in my second language is that because English is the de facto language of science and many people aren’t comfortable in English, you’re in a position to be very helpful as an Anglophone. I had one friend who hated making phone calls in English, so I made ordering- and lab equipment-related phone calls to English-speaking companies for her, and she made university- and government-related phone calls in French for me. It was a great relief to both of us. You can trade editing services in the same way, since many people will have to write in English and will need some help proofreading it. In exchange, that same friend can have a look at your class assignments for you.
- On the topic of assignments, if you’re not yet able to write effectively in your adopted language, depending on where you are, you may be able to arrange with your professors to turn in your work in English, at least for a while. Because scientific publishing is primarily done in English, some professors will insist on some assignments being written in English just to give their students practice and may not have any problem with you doing so while you’re learning.
Tips for Making Friends (and Combatting Isolation)
- Whenever you get a chance, take part in activities that aren’t too based in conversation. Departmental bowling night? Co-workers heading out dancing? Acquaintances going to watch a fireworks display? Go! None of these activities really require you to converse well but can make for a shared experience to help build friendships.
- If you’d like to blend the experience of a conversation partner with meeting a bunch of new people all at once, find out if your city has any language exchange events. These are events at cafés, bars, or schools where groups of people looking to work on their language skills come together to chat and socialize. The travel networking site Couchsurfing hosts events in a number of cities. You can also check with your university or local language school.
- You may worry that trying to speak conversationally in your second language will make you sound silly or make others feel like you’re “butchering” their language, but the truth is people are usually pleased and flattered when you try to speak to them in their mother tongue. So give it a try. You’ll improve your skills and let others know you’re trying to be a part of your adopted culture.
- As a corollary to the last point, don’t take yourself too seriously. Speaking a new language will almost certainly make you sound childish and silly sometimes. But you can’t learn to swim by reading a book about swimming, so to speak. Practice is the only way to improve. Learn to laugh at yourself when you inevitably say something ridiculous. What’s more, it’ll help you to share a laugh with your new friends and colleagues. People like a person with a sense of humour about themselves.
- If you’re studying in a foreign country, share your culture with your new colleagues. Bring little souvenirs or snacks that aren’t available in your new home to share with others. It’s a great way to break the ice and will let people know that you want to make new friends. It’s always exciting to try a little treat you can’t get at home. On more than one occasion, foreign students I’ve gone to school with have brought a bunch of keychains back when they visited home and distributed them to everyone they worked with. After a while, it turned into a bit of an exchange and brought everyone closer together. Years later, I still have a collection of keychains from countries I’ve never visited and fond memories of the colleagues they came from.
- When you’re just getting comfortable with a new language, it can be overwhelming to try to follow the conversation while in a large group. Look for opportunities to socialize in smaller groups where you’ll be able to be part of the exchange more effectively. As another way of making sure you can keep up with group conversations, it can be very helpful to have a pre-arrangement with a friend or co-worker whereby if you look at them questioningly during a gathering, they quickly explain to you what’s currently being discussed or why everyone was just laughing. This helps you to keep the thread of the conversation and not get hopelessly lost trying to figure out what was said as everyone else moves on.
- Idiomatic language and slang can be very tough to pick up in a new language, as can humour. Watching television and movies in your new language, with the subtitles turned on—first in English, then in the original language—can be great practice. You can read exactly what people are saying and listen back as many times as you need to in order to get a grasp on what’s being said. It’s a great way to improve.
- In general, let people help you. I’ve found people are very helpful to those who are making a good-faith effort to learn their language. What’s more, research shows that we are more inclined to like those for whom we have done a favour—a phenomenon called the Ben Franklin Effect. So letting friends and colleagues help you get by as you adapt to your new surroundings may actually make them like you more.
Choosing to study and live in a language you’re not totally comfortable with is a very brave, very scary step, but it can provide an unparalleled learning experience. There are kind and welcoming people wherever you go, and you’ll soon find yourself with a new circle of friends to help you succeed in living and learning in a new place.
